Psychotherapy | Marriage Counseling
Ft. Lauderdale

Psychotherapy can help you reduce emotional pain, convert anxiety into serenity, and find realistic hope as the way out of depression. How to make such a shift into true happiness has to be learned -- it is not genetically given to us as is the knowledge of how to survive: fight or flight (surrender and play dead).

But just survival is not enough to satisfy your soul. We all want to enjoy life and our relationships, especially with those we love. We do the best we can to succeed in what we attempt and to have close, loving relationships. Yet, there may be times when your best efforts do not bring the results you want, and may even bring emotional pain and upset.

You may have tried everything you know to be less anxious or depressed, to escape the sharp emotional pain that comes from self-criticism and disppointments, when rejection seems to mean that you don't matter or that there is something wrong with you. When that time comes, you can use the help of an experienced mentor to help you escape the web of conflict and pain in which you may find yourself entangled from time to time.

A psychotherapist may be able to be of help in alleviating your distress. Marriage counseling or couple counseling is simply psychotherapy focused on healing a damaged relationship, or family relationships. Getting the help you need is a sign of strength, not weakness.

You can put fear in it's place. The fear we call anxiety is based on the assumption, in or out of our awareness, that we are in danger of beng hurt. Fear in any form is a survival signal, to mobilize energy to protect ourselves.

The difficulty we sometimes face is that we are not clear what the danger is -- we are just afraid, or anxious, or nervous, walking on eggs, apprehensive, panicky, or whatever you might call it. Such fear without an obvious "cause" is called free floating anxiety, or when intense, a panic attack.

But there is a cause. It is simply not apparent.

Your work in psychotherapy to cancel your anxiety involves identifying the danger associated with your anxiety in order to evaluate whether it is indeed a present danger, or whether it is a danger you once experienced that does not exist in the present.

This is where the expertise of the therapist is a great help, a guide to sort out what is true in the present and what was true in the past. And then to find ways to effectively deal with the realistic dangers of the present, to separate them from ways you have been hurt in the past, and to enjoy the relative safety of the present.

You naturally will have many questions about this process of converting anxiety into serenity, questions I will be happy to discuss with you in a brief, no charge telephone consultation if you would wish to do so. Call my office in Wilton Manors (Ft. Lauderdale) at 954 727-9713.

You can also get more information about me and my ideas in my writing at: http://www.anthospublishing.com.

You can focus on the possible and give up on the impossible. Depression always has a future reference, a view that the future is bleak or even black.

Sometimes the bleak view of the future is justified, as when we suffer the loss by death or divorce of a loved one. The reality is that the future will not hold the promise of the loving, positive experiences we hoped to have with our loved one. The way through this reactive depression is to grieve, a process that may take a couple of years or more, depending on the severity of the loss.

Other times the loss may be of oneself. A lifetime of sacrificially catering to others, even though treating them in positive ways, may result in a gradual erosion of your self esteem, your positive view of yourself.

Trying to be what others want may be based on the positive motives of attempting to avoid conflict and striving to have a loving, close relationship. But self sacrifice creates resentment and taking on the responsibility for others' happiness is doomed to failure for anyone. That resentment about the burden to please others and chronic failure to sufficiently please others can result in a chronic depression that grows as the decades pass.

For some the depression starts early in life; for others it may develop with life crises that disrupt a delicate balance of self-sacrifice and rewards. Either way, the journey toward hope is on a pathway of unconditional love of yourself, certainty that you have the right to make your own decisions, and that you are able to manage your own way, even if other disapprove.

A therapist who understands these issues can be of help to you if this is your journey. I will be pleased to talk with you in person if you would like to call me for a no cost brief telephone consultation: 954 727-9713.

If you are not ready to call but would like to know more about me, check out more at http://www.anthospublishing.com

You can convert your conflicts into cooperation. The secret to having a great relationship is to accept that the other person is the way he or she is, and has a right to be so, whether you approve or disapprove.

If you approve and delight in the ways of your partner, that is great and a source of happiness together.

If you disapprove in the ways of your partner, you can act on the belief that he or she has the right to be that way, and be curious about why he or she thinks, acts, and feels "that way." By listening, understanding, and empathizing with your partner's point of view, you communicate the loving message that the other person is important to you, and that you take seriously his or her thinking and feeling.

When you want your partner to talk or act differently, you can make a request and tell why the request is emotionally important to you. You can ask him or her to reciprocate your listening, understanding, and empathy. This is what couples who have a great relationship do regularly.

They do other positive things as well, and they can all be learned and, when practiced, become the foundation for a deeper, richer, and quieter love than you knew when you first fell in love.

How to translate these and other positive principles of true love into concrete ways of relating to your partner must be learned -- they are not automatic.

You have learned from your life experience growing up as a child, and from all the experiences of your adult life. A marriage counselor can help you continue your learning process to repair your broken marriage or to make a good marriage even better.

You can get more details about marriage counseling on this page, and if you connect with what I have presented and wish to talk further with me I will be happy to do so. Just call me for a no cost brief telephone consulatation at 954-727-9713, and leave you name, number and a time when you can answer your phone if you don't get me in person when you call.

Psychotherapy and Marriage Counseling
with Benjamin B. Conley, M.Div., LMFT

Improve Your Life

You can improve your life, according to your own goals. You may be concerned to improve the quality of your everyday living, either to relieve your pain, or to enhance your ability to do well, according to your own values. I hope to support you in pursuing improvements in your personal life and relationships.

I may be able to help you as I have many other individuals, couples and families in 40 years of counseling experience with persons who are depressed, burdened with anxiety and panic attacks, distressed by phobias, hurt from a history of abuse, exhausted from dealing with stress, or frustrated with sexual, communication, and relationship difficulties. This inevitably leads to conflicts in relationships and too often the end of marriages that could have survived.

Three Fundamental Values

In marriage counseling and psychotherapy, you address and apply three fundamental values to everyday living:

1) You have value, as a separate individual, simply because you exist. This is one operational foundation that supports your having a joyful life

2) You inevitably make decisions for yourself, managing your own behavior, thoughts, and feelings by being in control of your own bodies. You are biologically required to make your own decisions, since no one can get inside your head to decide for you, even when you give away your autonomy in order to survive.

3)You think and act using your own best judgment, in your own way. As soon as you copy someone else's way, it becomes your way, with a twist. You can only pursue what you believe is your best option at any given time, even though you sometimes get it wrong.

Negating these fundamentals gives rise to various defensive reactions, power struggles, individual anguish, pain and suffering in relationships.

A relationship with a therapist is one within which your anguish can be accepted and new ways can be found to create what is nurturing and healing. My book, The Spiritual Connection: Values, Faith, and Psychotherapy is a more complete treatment of these points, illustrated through the many different therapeutic approaches that have been developed to deal with emotional conflicts.

My Focus in Therapy/Counseling

My focus is on helping achieve your therapeutic goals as directly as possible, in as little time as possible, using a variety of methods. By providing an environment of acceptance and emotional understanding, you become a knowledgeable participant in your therapeutic journey. Issues such as isolation, interpersonal conflict, power struggles in relationships, self esteem, depression, and anxiety can all be addressed by building on your personal strength and your own inner wisdom.

I will work with you as an individual, couple, family, or business. You can expect that I will draw on a variety of tools, including EMDR work for trauma, phobias, panic disorders, and depression, Imago Relationship Therapy with couples and families, and various other ways drawn from psychoanalytic therapy, rational-emotive therapy, Transactional Analysis/gestalt therapy, psychosynthesis, bioenergetics, sex therapy, hypnosis, and so on. You are welcome from any cultural background, though I speak only English, whether you are 10-12 years old or older, a heterosexual or gay and lesbian individual or couple.

Your ways of thinking and your values matter to me, so that I can respond to your needs in the most effective way, so that you can accomplish mutually agreed upon goals that enhance your quality of life. Your spiritual and religious quest deserves support from me because it is important to you.

Telephone Consultation

I will be happy to talk with you further on the telephone to discuss your goals and what you want to accomplish in therapy or marriage counseling, to see if what I can offer may be helpful to you. Just call me at (954) 727-9713, and if you do not get me in person, leave a message and your number and I will call you at my first opportunity.

Uncertain About Calling Right Now?

While you are thinking over whether to call me, look over the Anthos Publishing website and see if you find something of interest, including signing up for my free email newsletter on emotional growth, love, spirituality and relationships.

Copyright 2007-2008 by Benjamin B. Conley
Ft. Lauderdale | Psychotherapy | Marriage Counseling

The 15 basic values that
form a foundation for emotional and spiritual
well being

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Find out more about anxiety at:

Wickipedia

Anxiety is a physiological state characterized by
cognitive, somatic, emotional, and
behavioral components
(Seligman, Walker & Rosenhan, 2001).
These components combine to create
the feelings that we
typically recognize as
fear, apprehension,
or worry. Anxiety is
often accompanied by physical sensations
such as more . . .

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Benjamin B. Conley
Location:

1881 NE 26th Street
Suite 221
Wilton Manors,
Florida 33305
(Ft. Lauderdale)

Phone:	(954) 727-9713
Fax:	(954) 566-7671

Click here now to use email
to request a call-back from
Benjamin B. Conley!

Get a map: 1881 NE 26th St
Wilton Manors, FL
(Ft. Lauderdale)
33305-1416

Specialties or Interests:
Anxiety Disorders
Bereavement / Grief / Loss
Co-dependency
Depression
Emotional Growth
& Development
Gay and Lesbian Issues
Marriage/Couples Issues
Mid-life Issues
Self Esteem
Spiritual Counseling

Professional Title/s:

Marital and Family Therapist
Psychotherapist
Pastoral Counselor

Hourly Fee, based on
financial resources:
$100-$190

Out of Network Provider
for PPO Type Insurance,
such as:
Beechstreet
Blue Cross / Blue Shield
Cigna
Connecticut General
Humana (PPO)
Magellan
Oxford (POS)
PHCS (PPO)
PHS (POS)
Preferred Care (POS)
Prudential
United Behavioral Health (PPO)
UnitedHealthcare (PPO)

In-network with Outpatient Mental Health managed by
Corphealth

Treatment Modalities:
Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy
Imago Relationhip Therapy
Marriage/Couples Counseling
Family Therapy
Eye Movement Desensitivation
and Reprocessing (for trauma phobias and anxiety)
Gestalt Therapy
Psychodynamic Therapy
Christian Psychotherapy
Goal-Oriented Therapy
Guided Imagery
Parent Training
Pastoral Counseling
Spiritual Counseling
Transactional Analysis
Coaching

Treatment Age(s):
Adolescents
Adults
Seniors

Accepting New Patients:
Yes

Years In Practice:
40

Licensed in Florida:
Marriage & Family Therapist
License # MT1197

Degrees:
B.A., M.Div.
Blanton-Peale Graduate
Institute 3 yr Residency

Institutions:
Vanderbilt University
Blanton-Peale
Graduate Institute

Office Information/Hours:
Weekday appointments,
including
late afternoon/evenings, at:

Wilton Manor Plaza,
1881 NE 26th St.
Suite 221
Wilton Manors,
(Ft. Lauderdale) FL 33305

My office and
voicemail number is:
(954) 727-9713.

Click here for a map of
1881 NE 26th St
Wilton Manors, FL 33305

Professional
Organizations
and Affiliations

Blanton Peale
Graduate Institute
3 yr Residency

American Association of
Marriage and Family
Therapists
Clinical Member

Florida Association of
Marriage and Family
Therapists
Clinical Member

American Association.of
Pastoral Counselors Diplomate

Imago Relationships International
Clinical Member

EMDR Institute,
Level II Clinical Member